Writers Write, But What?

I read a book several years ago that I hated. It was really long, the characters were mostly unlikable, and it didn't have an ending. Not "didn't have the ending I wanted" but actually didn't have an ending. Instead it just stopped. It was as if the author said "So, I've gotten you invested in these people, but I'm kinda bored now so that's it." Of course, the author did it on purpose, not because he was bored (I hope), but because he wanted to write a book that made a statement, even if it was a risk. It worked. I have read hundreds of books, most of which were very entertaining and had completely satisfying endings. I don't remember most of them. But I remember this book.

As a writer, I keep coming back to that. What type of book do I want to write? Do I want to make a statement and be remembered? Do I want to be fun but forgettable? The answer is "no" to both. I am not a statement writer, and if I ever have a statement to make it's usually sarcastic. I have stories to tell, and they are fun and quirky and not epic in the least. Heck, my motto is "Don't be like Dickens" because I can't stand his style. It's like I'm begging to be forgotten.

But those aren't the only stories. There are stories out there that compel, that make you think, that make you laugh, and make their statements quietly. Those are the stories I want to tell. The novel I'm revising may be one of those, or it may be a lesson in writing to prepare me for the next one. I don't know yet, and I can't know at this stage. I am afraid that I'll be one of the forgettable ones, but not too afraid to try anyway.

I've been pondering if I'm really a writer at all, fueled by that fear. I wrote a book. I could rest on that accomplishment, shove it in a drawer, and move on to a new 'hobby'. Every time I consider that, though, I feel an immense sadness. When I'm 90 I won't look back and say "oh, my house was super clean and I was a great digiscrapper!" I'll look back and say "why didn't I ever send out a query letter for that novel? Why did I ignore all those other characters and stories that came into my mind?"  There's another answer. I am a writer. I'll write.

And I promise that even when I take risks and make statements, you'll always get an actual ending. So, what stories stick with you? What stories do you have to tell? Will you always give me an ending? I certainly hope so, but if you don't, that's okay. It's your book. *grins*

My Husband Gives the Best Pep Talks

A few weekends ago I had a really productive weekend, writing-wise. (I shouldn't even have to clarify that. Nothing else productive ever gets done by me anymore. It's like I only think in terms of feeding my family and writing.) Anyway, I was riding my little writing-high and then an amazing writer friend (you know who you are) sent me a scene to read. And it was a great scene. She nailed it. When I was done gushing to her about how awesome it was, reality struck me. My scenes suck. They didn't have the finesse, the elegance, or even the cool words that hers did. I was filled with WOE. (You may have noticed that writers tend to be over-dramatic.)

A while later, I was moping rummaging around in the kitchen when my husband walks up. He sees me standing there, sour look on my face and bottle of coconut rum in my hand (what? I'm over 21) and asks what's wrong.

Me: My book sucks.
Him: But you were so excited earlier! You had such a good weekend! *pauses* You were reading someone else's work, weren't you?
Me: No! Okay, maybe. Yes. And mine sucks.
Him: No it doesn't! You can't judge your book so harshly. It's your first one, and it's your first DRAFT of your first one. Besides, I've read your work. It's good!
Me: No, it isn't. It's amateurish and choppy and just... ugh.
Him: *takes rum from me* No, your work is very good. I've read the first part of your book, remember? It flows really well! I'd tell you if it wasn't any good.
Me: *disbelieving stare* Uh-huh. You sleep in the same bed as me.
Him: *gets his "I'm very serious" look on his face* Of course I'd tell you the truth! If it was shit, I wouldn't let you submit it anywhere! That'd just be embarrasing!
Me: *pauses before bursting into tears and laughter* I love you.
Him: Now stop pouting and have a drink. *pours the rum*

THAT, my friends, is why you get married to someone like my husband. Because they'll tell you truth. And make you a drink. At the same time.

Revising My Fear

What am I so afraid of?

A year ago I had no idea I'd really write a book. I also didn't realize that writing the book would be the easy part. When you're writing everything is fresh and new and filled with possibility. It's okay if you suck because it's just a first draft. Writing was surprisingly un-terrifying for me.

I had a vague idea of what revisions looked like, as an outsider listening to other people's stories, but I had no true understanding of the process. Now I'm in the middle of the process and I'm terrified. What if my second draft sucks, too? What if I am forever doomed to write "short" books and no one wants them? What if my characters moved too fast or too slow or are too one-dimensional or have too much backstory and are confusing? WHAT IF I FAIL?

I look around at all the amazing people I've met online and in person this year who do this, over and over again, and I don't know how they do it.  How can they take these nuggets and turn them into amazing publishable works?

Six weeks ago, I was completely overwhelmed by the process of editing my book. So I walked away. I took a break to read and relax and sit back and let it all sort of wash over me. At first even this was scary. I didn't know what to do with myself. I caught up on a lot of reading, which only fed my neruoses at times, because they were all so much better than me. But eventually I began to enjoy the reading again, and saw the differences in style and characters and began to learn from what I was seeing.

Now that time is up and I'm still terrified, but I think I found the antidote to my fear: action. I asked some of these friends what they do to self-edit. I have a list of things to look for. I have amazing friends pre-reading so that they can give me insights on plot holes and characters I know I'll miss. I have a printed copy, a purple pen, and a lot of coffee. I CAN DO THIS.

I want to say that 2011 will be filled with less fear on my part, fear of doing and of failing and even of succeeding and what that will mean for me and my life. But that would be lying because I am scared of change by default. I am also, however, relentless. I will not let the fear stop me from pursuing my dream. I will keep working on this novel until it is the BEST NOVEL I CAN POSSIBLY WRITE. It may still suck, and it may still be too "*insert negative word here*", but it will be mine and I will be proud of it. So here's to action and conquering fear. Here's to 2011 and a publishable book. Written by me.

So Happy New Year, everyone! One way or another, 2011 is going to rock.

Fearfully optimistic,
Leigh ;)

A Writer, A First Draft, and a Plot Bunny

A writer, a first draft, and a plot bunny walk into a bar. Why? Duh. To get a drink.

I totally understand why writers need to drink now that I've FINISHED MY FIRST DRAFT. That's right, it's done. An entire mediocre book is sitting on my hard drive, waiting to be revised and polished into a totally kick-ass book.

When I first started writing, I had no idea the amount of work that occurs once the book is actually "written". So I'm in the midst of a re-read, making little notes about the places where I totally copped out and the ones where I just didn't know my characters well enough yet and the ones where the reader will be all "WTH are you smoking?" And it's actually kinda fun, but also kinda daunting.

And then it happens. Just in time for NaNoWriMo (which is like crack for writers), a sexy little plot bunny sidles up to me. She's wearing MAC lipstick and Louboutins. She oozes "pay attention to me."

Shhh... I'm hunting Revisions.

So, I wrote the plot bunny down. I tucked her away in a nice little folder and told her I promise I'll pay attention to her once my revisions are done.

I really, REALLY like her Louboutins, though, so I better revise quickly. NaNoReviseMo, anyone??

Motivation for the Home Stretch

I am almost done with my first draft. Give me a second to process that. There is roughly 90% of a book on my hard drive. That I wrote. And in a few weeks, it'll be 100%. Of a book. That is mine.

DUDE.

I wanted to share what is motivating me for this last leg of my first draft.  A while ago I saw a quote on twitter. I normally ignore all of the uplifting quotes and motivational blurbs that make their rounds on social networks, but this one struck me. (I don't come here to be uplifted, people! I come here to mock!)

It felt really fitting in the overall scheme of my book, so I made it into a desktop background. Now, when I'm writing, every once in a while I'll hide all my windows and this is what I see:

Adium Yoda approves.

I may not have any laundry folded, and I may hot have any dishes done, but this background and I will have a BOOK FINISHED in a few weeks. Wish me luck. (And, if you're writing too, I'd love to hear what's motivating you right now.)

Trends, Agents, and Other Scary Things - Lessons from the AWC

I have SO MANY things to say about my trip to the Auburn Writer's Conference this past weekend. I got to see a ton of amazing writers and panels, workshop with hilarious Rachel Hawkins and her agent Holly Root, and take my picture with the infamous Archer Barbie, courtesy of conference organizer Chantel Acevedo. (Archer is from Rachel Hawkins' Hex Hall and the upcoming Demonglass.)

Archer is full of WOE! I am not. Oops.

While talking books is fun, I was really impressed with how much I learned about the business side of writing. Rachel's morning workshop "Are You There Ghouls? It's Me, Buffy," covered the hows and whys of writing a paranormal coming-of-age story. We talked about fun stuff and her process and all sorts of good info. (Did you know that vampires represent SEX? Let me tell you, we discussed the heck out of that.) *wink* I'm not going to tell you the rest because she might ban me from reading her books if I give away her secrets. And then both Archer and I would be full of woe. WOE.

Of course, we also touched on market trends, completely freaking me out. You may not realize this, but a book that's coming out right now was purchased by a publisher roughly two years ago. So if the current trend is "YA Books About Skateboarding Koalas!" you can't say "Well, that's FAB because I'm writing (or should write) a book about a skateboarding koala!" You've already missed it. UNLESS your book is fresh and new and amazing and defies trends anyway.

(We're going to pretend that my book is the latter, and luckily there are no skateboarding koalas in it.)

So what's a writer to do? In Rachel's words: "Write the damn book."

Then I was lucky enough to take a query seminar with Holly Root, Rachel's Agent of Awesome^TM.

Rachel Hawkins and Holly Root

Holly went over some of the workshop participant's query letters, gave us all pointers, and was basically the most excellently accessible person EVER. She was sweet, funny, honest, and - most importantly - not scary. I know, I was shocked. I mean, she doesn't look scary, but agents are these amazingly powerful people who laugh at your manuscripts and rip you apart on twitter, right? Uh, no.

Agents are normal people. Well, as normal as people eat, sleep, and breathe books can be. The most important things I learned from her? Holly said that she strongly believes that "Talent will find a way." That good agents respect you as a writer. They want you to be the best you can be, so that they can sell the best book possible. If you hear 'no', it's not necessarily 'no' to you - just not the right book, not at the right time. Prove that it's the right book at the right time by being you and using your voice.

If you're lucky, which I believe Rachel is, you get exactly the right person to be part of your team. If you want proof as to just how normal an agent really is, get her to admit what the last book she read 'just for fun' was. No, I'm not going to divulge her secret, but trust me. She's normal. 

So what did I take away from this conference? A desire to write the best damn book possible, and faith that it'll find its way. But I'll leave out the skateboarding koalas. (And maybe vampires too.)

Falling in Love (With A WIP)

Okay, so I've been sick. Like, feverish-can't-get-out-of-bed-call-in-reinforcements-SICK. After spending all day in bed yesterday, though, I had to sit upright today. And while I was sitting upright, playing stupid FB games and thinking about napping, my brain started to do that irritating thing that Writer's Brains do where it fires off convos between characters. And once it starts, it generally doesn't SHUT UP until you write them down.

So, in the interest of getting better (and getting to take a nap), I did. And the most AMAZING thing happened: It works. I suddenly understood one of my characters so much better. And after all this time writing, plugging along happily and thinking "Wow, this all is clicking SO WELL," it finally, really, TRULY clicked. I GET it. It WORKS. And I'm in LOVE with my WIP. Big pink fluffy hearts of love. (and doom, because part of what I love is this new aspect of DOOMINESS I'm working in.) So, if you'll excuse me, my WIP and I will be skipping through flower-filled meadows and taking long walks on the beach. And then maybe we'll take a nap.