My Husband Gives the Best Pep Talks

A few weekends ago I had a really productive weekend, writing-wise. (I shouldn't even have to clarify that. Nothing else productive ever gets done by me anymore. It's like I only think in terms of feeding my family and writing.) Anyway, I was riding my little writing-high and then an amazing writer friend (you know who you are) sent me a scene to read. And it was a great scene. She nailed it. When I was done gushing to her about how awesome it was, reality struck me. My scenes suck. They didn't have the finesse, the elegance, or even the cool words that hers did. I was filled with WOE. (You may have noticed that writers tend to be over-dramatic.)

A while later, I was moping rummaging around in the kitchen when my husband walks up. He sees me standing there, sour look on my face and bottle of coconut rum in my hand (what? I'm over 21) and asks what's wrong.

Me: My book sucks.
Him: But you were so excited earlier! You had such a good weekend! *pauses* You were reading someone else's work, weren't you?
Me: No! Okay, maybe. Yes. And mine sucks.
Him: No it doesn't! You can't judge your book so harshly. It's your first one, and it's your first DRAFT of your first one. Besides, I've read your work. It's good!
Me: No, it isn't. It's amateurish and choppy and just... ugh.
Him: *takes rum from me* No, your work is very good. I've read the first part of your book, remember? It flows really well! I'd tell you if it wasn't any good.
Me: *disbelieving stare* Uh-huh. You sleep in the same bed as me.
Him: *gets his "I'm very serious" look on his face* Of course I'd tell you the truth! If it was shit, I wouldn't let you submit it anywhere! That'd just be embarrasing!
Me: *pauses before bursting into tears and laughter* I love you.
Him: Now stop pouting and have a drink. *pours the rum*

THAT, my friends, is why you get married to someone like my husband. Because they'll tell you truth. And make you a drink. At the same time.

Revising My Fear

What am I so afraid of?

A year ago I had no idea I'd really write a book. I also didn't realize that writing the book would be the easy part. When you're writing everything is fresh and new and filled with possibility. It's okay if you suck because it's just a first draft. Writing was surprisingly un-terrifying for me.

I had a vague idea of what revisions looked like, as an outsider listening to other people's stories, but I had no true understanding of the process. Now I'm in the middle of the process and I'm terrified. What if my second draft sucks, too? What if I am forever doomed to write "short" books and no one wants them? What if my characters moved too fast or too slow or are too one-dimensional or have too much backstory and are confusing? WHAT IF I FAIL?

I look around at all the amazing people I've met online and in person this year who do this, over and over again, and I don't know how they do it.  How can they take these nuggets and turn them into amazing publishable works?

Six weeks ago, I was completely overwhelmed by the process of editing my book. So I walked away. I took a break to read and relax and sit back and let it all sort of wash over me. At first even this was scary. I didn't know what to do with myself. I caught up on a lot of reading, which only fed my neruoses at times, because they were all so much better than me. But eventually I began to enjoy the reading again, and saw the differences in style and characters and began to learn from what I was seeing.

Now that time is up and I'm still terrified, but I think I found the antidote to my fear: action. I asked some of these friends what they do to self-edit. I have a list of things to look for. I have amazing friends pre-reading so that they can give me insights on plot holes and characters I know I'll miss. I have a printed copy, a purple pen, and a lot of coffee. I CAN DO THIS.

I want to say that 2011 will be filled with less fear on my part, fear of doing and of failing and even of succeeding and what that will mean for me and my life. But that would be lying because I am scared of change by default. I am also, however, relentless. I will not let the fear stop me from pursuing my dream. I will keep working on this novel until it is the BEST NOVEL I CAN POSSIBLY WRITE. It may still suck, and it may still be too "*insert negative word here*", but it will be mine and I will be proud of it. So here's to action and conquering fear. Here's to 2011 and a publishable book. Written by me.

So Happy New Year, everyone! One way or another, 2011 is going to rock.

Fearfully optimistic,
Leigh ;)

A Writer, A First Draft, and a Plot Bunny

A writer, a first draft, and a plot bunny walk into a bar. Why? Duh. To get a drink.

I totally understand why writers need to drink now that I've FINISHED MY FIRST DRAFT. That's right, it's done. An entire mediocre book is sitting on my hard drive, waiting to be revised and polished into a totally kick-ass book.

When I first started writing, I had no idea the amount of work that occurs once the book is actually "written". So I'm in the midst of a re-read, making little notes about the places where I totally copped out and the ones where I just didn't know my characters well enough yet and the ones where the reader will be all "WTH are you smoking?" And it's actually kinda fun, but also kinda daunting.

And then it happens. Just in time for NaNoWriMo (which is like crack for writers), a sexy little plot bunny sidles up to me. She's wearing MAC lipstick and Louboutins. She oozes "pay attention to me."

Shhh... I'm hunting Revisions.

So, I wrote the plot bunny down. I tucked her away in a nice little folder and told her I promise I'll pay attention to her once my revisions are done.

I really, REALLY like her Louboutins, though, so I better revise quickly. NaNoReviseMo, anyone??

Motivation for the Home Stretch

I am almost done with my first draft. Give me a second to process that. There is roughly 90% of a book on my hard drive. That I wrote. And in a few weeks, it'll be 100%. Of a book. That is mine.

DUDE.

I wanted to share what is motivating me for this last leg of my first draft.  A while ago I saw a quote on twitter. I normally ignore all of the uplifting quotes and motivational blurbs that make their rounds on social networks, but this one struck me. (I don't come here to be uplifted, people! I come here to mock!)

It felt really fitting in the overall scheme of my book, so I made it into a desktop background. Now, when I'm writing, every once in a while I'll hide all my windows and this is what I see:

Adium Yoda approves.

I may not have any laundry folded, and I may hot have any dishes done, but this background and I will have a BOOK FINISHED in a few weeks. Wish me luck. (And, if you're writing too, I'd love to hear what's motivating you right now.)

Falling in Love (With A WIP)

Okay, so I've been sick. Like, feverish-can't-get-out-of-bed-call-in-reinforcements-SICK. After spending all day in bed yesterday, though, I had to sit upright today. And while I was sitting upright, playing stupid FB games and thinking about napping, my brain started to do that irritating thing that Writer's Brains do where it fires off convos between characters. And once it starts, it generally doesn't SHUT UP until you write them down.

So, in the interest of getting better (and getting to take a nap), I did. And the most AMAZING thing happened: It works. I suddenly understood one of my characters so much better. And after all this time writing, plugging along happily and thinking "Wow, this all is clicking SO WELL," it finally, really, TRULY clicked. I GET it. It WORKS. And I'm in LOVE with my WIP. Big pink fluffy hearts of love. (and doom, because part of what I love is this new aspect of DOOMINESS I'm working in.) So, if you'll excuse me, my WIP and I will be skipping through flower-filled meadows and taking long walks on the beach. And then maybe we'll take a nap.

Plot Bunnies In Space

I've had this nagging little plot bunny in the back of my mind for a while. It's spunky, and may have a spaceship and a hologram for a sidekick. And it won't. shut. up. So a few days ago, finally, I opened a fresh document and figured I'd get it down so I could move on. But as I typed, I found I didn't want to move on. It didn't just flow, it poured out of me. I was so excited that I even forced my HUSBAND to read a scene. And he's NOT a YA reader.

But still, I felt guilty. Wasn't I cheating on my WIP with this bright, shiny, new idea? The one that I just figured out the ending for? Shouldn't I continue with the 3/4 written work since, you know, it's THREE QUARTERS DONE? Then I remembered something the very wise (and possibly gifted with some sort of black magic) Heather told me.

When I decided to pull my fanfiction (yes, you who are new here, I wrote fanfiction) and focus on original writing, I was terrified but thrilled. Heather listened to me freak out, then talked me down and then said something like: "You could prove me wrong, but I bet you get two-thirds of the way done with your rewrite and then start something new. These things just work that way."

At the time, I couldn't imagine putting all the work into that much of a manuscript to just set it aside. I may have laughed. A few days ago I told her that she was right. And that I was really, really happy about it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I left a heroine in distress. With some aliens. #awesome

A Pen and Paper Storm

I've never considered myself a pen-and-paper writer. I find ink much more intimidating than a blank Word document. It could be because "delete" is much easier than scratching out pen marks. Or it could be a type of rebellion against the years of school and note-taking that led me into adulthood. Somewhere in my mind, lined paper equals preparing for exams and lectures that bear no importance to my daily life.

To fight this fear, I keep buying cute notebooks to throw in my purse so that I'm ready when inspiration strikes. Inspiration is usually outweighed by the gravity of WRITING IN INK and then staring at my own scribbles. This is why I bought a netbook. It's a cute little red HP number. It's not fast, or flashy, but it works. With it and Dropbox, I have my WIP at my disposal just about anywhere.

This perfect system was tested a week ago. My husband and I went to Eastern Europe on vacation without kids. Visions of sitting in a cafe, typing away by the Danube, gave way to the reality of a fun but packed vacation. We had a great time. We saw life from a different perspective. We did not have ANY down-time that didn't involve a train or a plane. And I discovered something about myself: I can't write on a train or a plane.

I dutifully took out my tiny computer, opened my document, and stared. And stared some more. And finally opened Bejeweled Blitz and gave up. The problem with the Word doc is that it's perfect for when I'm ready to WRITE but not for when I need to THINK. Sometimes I don't even realize which stage I'm at until I sit down to try. I finally get why the blinking cursor is so scary. Fortunately, I came with a backup notebook. It's small, and cute, and the only way it could be less scary would be if it was pink. It doesn't say, "Write your novel here!" Instead it says, "Jot down ideas! C'mon! No pressure! You know you want to!"

Which is exactly what I did.

On a train from Prague to Budapest, surrounded by loud Europeans and field after field of sunflowers outside my window, I brainstormed. With a pen, paper, and a cute little notebook. By the time we'd arrived, I'd figured out how my WIP was going to end.

Don't tell my husband, but it may be my favorite part of the trip.